Hillary's Top 10 Promises

From Thursday's Letterman: (Personal favorite, #2)

10. Bring stability and long-term security to The View.
9. Each year on my birthday every American gets a cupcake.
8. You will have the option of rolling dice against the IRS for double or nothing on your tax return.
7. If you're having trouble getting a flight and Air Force One is available, it's yours.
6. My vice-president will never shoot anybody in the face.
5. I'll turn Gitmo into a Dairy Queen as soon as possible.
4. For over a century there have only been two Dakotas. I plan to double that.
3. We will finally have a president who doesn't mind pulling over and asking for directions. Am I right, ladies?
2. I will appoint a commission to find out what the heck is happening on Lost.
1. One more pantsuit joke and Letterman disappears.