Red Album

Artist: Weezer
Album: Weezer (The Red Album)

Rating: Jimmy Carter

Having lived with the Red Album for a few days, I am thoroughly frustrated with it. It has one my favorite Weezer song since the Maladroit record's "Death and Destruction" and "Love Explosion" with "Pork and Beans." But it also has a serious battle on its hands for not just worst Weezer song to make its way onto an album but for worst songs of all-time. The two main offenders here are "Heart Songs" and "The Greatest Man That Ever Lived." I can't really bring myself to talk about "Heart Songs" it's so bad but "The Greatest Man That Ever Lived" gives us nearly six minutes of crap-tastic entertainment to talk about. Let's start with the opening lyrics:

"You try to play it cool like you just don't care
But soon I'll be playin' in your underwear"

And I haven't mentioned that this is rapped by the way. This is the sort of rhyme scheme that I come up with when I try to write poetry...I guess I should stick to haikus.

Let's now move on to the full song title "The Greatest Man That Ever Lived (Variations on a Quaker a Shaker Hymn). Here's an idea...let's write a 6-minute song essentially about sex [as a good 75% of Weezer songs are] and let's use a Shaker hymn as the backing meolody. In case you don't know, here are some facts about Shakers:

• they did not have sex, and instead adopted children to grow the congregation
• Shaker homes were segregated by sex
• They lived a communal lifestyle
• they made some pretty good furniture

I don't think a Shaker has ever uttered the words "I'm the Greatest Man That Ever Lived."

And I want to not that I'm not writing this because maybe it's cool to rip on Weezer. Weezer has probably shaped my life more than any other band...they are why I wear the glass frames that I do. I buy all their albums, no questions asked...what more could they want? I am just afraid I have come to expect too much from my favorite nerd band.

Let's leave this on a positive note...the best song on the album does not even come from Rivers Cuomo but instead guitarist Brian Bell with "Thought I Knew." I hope Weezer keep this up and take a more Blur-like attitude to sharing their lead singer duties.

Weezer -- Thought I Knew

Weezer -- Pork & Beans

Weezer -- The Greatest Man That Ever Lived (Variations on a Shaker Hymn)
Both tracks are from the Red Album.

Buddy Holly Megapost

As I've written before, one of my hobbies is collecting baseball cards and while I was going through a couple packs today I came upon this card:


Next year marks the 50th Anniversary of the "Day the Music Died." Each year Clear Lake, Iowa holds their Fifties in February concert in Buddy's honor at the Surf Ballroom where he played his last concert.

These are some of my favorite Buddy songs, with my top special being "Rave On." I would always play that one on the jukebox of my favorite bar during my undergrad years, The Joynt.

Buddy Holly -- Peggy Sue
From the Happy Days Jukebox collection.

Buddy Holly -- Rave On
From the Buddy Holly album.

Buddy Holly -- Dearest
From the Juno soundtrack.

Buddy Holly -- Everyday
From the Buddy Holly Album.

Rogue Wave -- Everyday [Buddy Holly cover]
From the Stubbs the Zombie soundtrack.

Buddy Holly -- Not Fade Away
From the Essential Masters collection.

The Rolling Stones -- Not Fade Away [Buddy Holly cover]
From the Singles Collection: The London Years collection.

The Rolling Stones -- Not Fade Away [Buddy Holly cover]
From the Stripped album.

Buddy Holly -- Oh Boy!
From the Essential Masters collection.

Buddy Holly -- Rock Around with Ollie Vee
From the Essential Masters collection.

Weezer -- Buddy Holly
From the Blue Album.

Rivers Cuomo -- Buddy Holly [Demo]
From the Alone: The Home Recordings of Rivers Cuomo.

2:42 Mega Post

Wired's music blog Listening Post asks the question "Is 2:42 the perfect song length?"

The post's author Eliot Van Buskirk lists these songs as running 2:42...

King Missile: "Jesus Was Way Cool"
Boards of Canada: "Sherbet Head"
The Fall: "Neighborhood of Infinity"
Galaxie 500: "Leave the Planet"
Sonic Youth: "Providence"
Smog: "Your Wedding"
Lee "Scratch" Perry: "Yakety Yak"

Not exactly the classics I was hoping for...here are the songs from my collection that run 2:42.

Highlights include two of my favorite songs "God Only Knows" by the Beach Boys and "Walk Away Renee" by The Left Banke...there maybe something to this after all!

The Kooks -- Always Where I Need To Be
From the new album Konk.

Pete Yorn -- Man in Uniform
From the Day I Forgot album.

The Zombies -- Is This the Dream [Mono Version]
From the I Love You album.

Weezer -- American Gigolo
From the underrated Maladroit album.

Weezer -- I Just Threw Out the Love Of My Dreams

The Rolling Stones -- We're Wastin' Time
From the Metamorphosis collection.

R.B. Greaves -- Take a Letter Maria
From the album called...wait for it...R.B. Greaves.

Belle & Sebastian -- Legal Man
From the Legal Man single.

The Electric Soft Parade -- Stupid Mistake
From The Human Body EP.

The Platters -- Smoke Gets in Your Eyes
From the 20 Best of Doo Wop collection.

The Hives -- Fall Is Just Something Grownups Invented
Available as a single on iTunes.

The Beatles -- Lovely Rita
From Sgt. Peppers.

Deerhoof -- Scream Team
From the Runners Four album.

Marvin Gaye -- This Love Starved Heart of Mine (It's Killing Me)
From the Summer of Motown collection.

The Damned -- New Rose
From the Damned Damned Damned album.

The Kinks -- David Watts
From the Kink Kronikles album.

The Dave Clark Five -- Glad All Over
From The Hits collection.

The Cribs -- I'm Alright Me
From The New Fellas album.

Sebadoh -- Rockstar
From the III album.

Gorillaz -- 5/4
From the 1st Gorillaz album.

Johnny Greenwood -- Future Markets
From the There Will Be Blood soundtrack.

The Beach Boys -- Don't Worry Baby
From the Made in the U.S.A. collection.

Franz Ferdinand -- You Could Have It So Much Better
From the album of the same name.

Bruce Springsteen -- From Small Things (Big Things One Day Come)
From the Essential Bruce Springsteen.

Tenacious D -- Car Chase City
From The Pick of Destiny soundtrack.

Crystal Castles vs. HEALTH -- Alice Practice
From the Crimewave single.

The Mamas & The Papas -- California Dreamin'
From the If You Can Believe Your Eyes and Ears album.

The Beatles -- Nowhere Man
From the Rubber Soul album.

Nine Inch Nails -- 10 Ghosts II
From the Ghosts I-IV album.

Dusty Springfield -- What Do You Do When Love Dies?
From the Dusty in Memphis album.

Elvis Presley -- Love Me Tender
From the Essential Elvis Presley collection.

The Association -- No Fair At All
From The Association's Greatest Hits.

The Vines -- Vision Valley
From the album of the same name.

Dinah Washington -- Unforgettable
From the album of the same name.

Glen Campbell -- By the Time I Get to Phoenix
From the Rhinestone Cowboy album.

The White Stripes -- It's True That We Love One Another
From the Elephant album.

Billy Bragg & Wilco -- Christ for President
From the first Mermaid Avenue album.

Black Oak Arkansas -- Jim Dandy
From the Dazed and Confused soundtrack

Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers -- Don't Do Me Like That
From their Greatest Hits collection.

The Stone Roses -- The Hardest Thing in the World
From The Complete Stone Roses collection.

Simon & Garfunkel -- Homeward Bound
From the Greatest Hits collection.

Hole -- Celebrity Skin
From the album of the same name.

The Moody Blues -- I Don't Want to Go On Without You
From The Singles colelction.

The Who -- Squeeze Box
From The Ultimate collection.

The Ramones -- Pinhead
From the Loud, Fast Ramones: Their Toughest Hits collection.

The Kinks -- Nothin' in the World Can Stop Me Worryin' 'Bout That Girl
From the Rushmore soundtrack.

The Beach Boys -- God Only Knows [Mono Version]
From the Pet Sounds Sessions boxset.

The Black Lips -- Lock & Key
From the Good Bad Not Evil album.

Mates of State -- Gotta Get a Problem
From the Team Boo album.

M. Ward -- Green River [CCR cover]
From the Green River single.

Ol' Dirty Bastard -- Shimmy Shimmy Ya
From The Dirty Story -- Best of ODB collection.

The Turtles -- Grim Reaper of Love
From the 20 Greatest Hits collection.

Harry Nilsson -- Let the Good Times Roll
From the Nilsson Schmilsson album.

Moby Grape -- Someday
From the Moby Grape album.

The Left Banke -- Walk Away Renee
From There's Gonna Be a Storm collection.

Awesome

So, we have almost set a record for snowfall in Wisconsin in December...I couldn't have planned my trip home any better...This is from the above article:

Todd Messerschmidt, manager of the Kitz & Pfeil Power Center in Oshkosh, said it’s been “an awesome” month for sales of snow blowers, parts and service.

“We haven’t had snow like this in a number of years,” he said.

Now I am imagining that Todd's "Awesome" is like Chris Farly's at the end of the deer destroying car scene from Tommy Boy [it can be found at 4:26 into this video montage].



On Christmas Eve my sister and I got into "a discussion" about religion and religious thoughts have been floating about in my head more often than usual ever since...And as I was siting watching the snow fall yesterday something occurred to me...in Noah's time when God hit the reset button and flooded the Earth and killed everyone, it seems like that was done pretty easily for people around the equator or the Middle East. I mean you only really need a few inches of really quick falling rain to cause a serious flood or mud slide...and a few feet could cause some serious damage and wipe out most everyone...

But lets assume that God picked the winter to wipe everyone out...well, this changes everything doesn't it?...Can a civilization be wiped out by snow? It certainly is a preferable alternative to rain...and I think a well organized town with some shovels and snow blowers could hold God off for quite while...or they could just build cities under the snow...this is what I think about when I run out of episodes of The Honeymooners to watch.

I guess my point is this...what would the Bible be like if it had been written by someone with say a Norwegian or Swedish perspective?

Rivers Cuomo -- Lover in the Snow
From the demo album: Alone: The Home Recordings of Rivers Cuomo.

Weezer News

Let's do the Weezer news rundown:

1. Lead singer Rivers Cuomo will be releasing a collection of demos dating from 1992-2007 on December 18th which will make a nice Christmas gift for myself...

2. Album #6 will be ready to roll in April 2008...which will make a nice birthday gift for myself.

Weezer -- I Do (Hash Pipe B-Side)

The Return of the Return of the Rentals

Matt Sharp's best band (excluding Weezer) is back with a new EP, "The Last Little Life" that comes out in physical form on August 14th (you can download it now at eMusic.com)....here is one from their debut album "The Return of the Rentals."

The Rentals -- The Love I'm Searching For

Buy Rentals music here. Buy a Rentals frisbee here.